Lucy L: School Phobia!?
I went to a new school in 9th grade but no-one was particulary friendly. I tried my best but everytime I spoke to someone (in my year) they would reply with a few words and then go off. No one made me feel welcome. I ended up sitting by myself at the back of the room in the different classes and quietly doing my work (I am very good at maths, chemistry, physics, english and languages etc and average at sport). When we walked to the different classes I had to walk by myself or just “tag-along” by having small meaningless conversations with a couple of people in my year occasionally. I met a girl but she was a bit unusual. I sat with her during break because otherwise I would have literally been sitting alone eating my lunch. It was just an awful year. The following year I was really sick for a few months but dreaded going back to that school even though I did really well academically that year (I do well every year, I wasn’t spending all my extra time studying or anything).
I was trying my best to keep working while I was genuinly sick with a couple of really bad viruses (left me weak, tired etc). Once I found myself improving, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to school. I started a distance education program, didn’t like the teachers etc (I didn’t hand my work in on time because when I started it, I was still sick so I was behind in my work) but did well (didn’t show on the report…they actually wrote it before most of my work was in..so of course it was dodgy..very disappointed…they finally marked my work (A+) but was too late. Anyway, I can’t bring myself to going back to the school, most family friends etc don’t know I was away from school last year but will if I have to do home schooling. I really want to do well academically as well. What should I do? I am also small (short, small build)and I believe pretty ordinary looking. I feel so bad! I feel I have real potential to do amazing things when I’m older but haven’t been given a chance.
What should I do?
I now don’t want to venture to common areas where I might “see someone” I know or have seen before. I feel I have a low-self-esteem (even though I used to be quite outgoing and fun to be around a few years ago). I am more reserved now and feel intimidated easily and feel judged constantly. I feel really short and ugly also now. I really want to do well in Grade 11 and 12 so I can get into an excellent college/university and do well.
Answers and Views:
Answer by dstall44
I went all through school feeling out of place until I finally just started going to college online. But you know when someone I didnt know spoke to me randomly it just made me nervous. Maybe its not that they dont like you but just dont know you and so they feel a little shy themselves. I can understand your being nervous but you can get through and you’ve already said you did well academically so if you are well enough to go back to school I think you should give it a shot before giving up on it altogether. However is hoem schooling is a possibility theres no shame in that but be careful about making a pattern of avoiding other people because it can continue to get worse until you develop a full blown social phobia.
EDIT:
I feel the same way exactly when I go out except I dont usually feel short. Its only in your mind that they think as in truth I dont think people really even notice other people they are so focused on their own lives. Hollow advice I know as I havent mastered convincing myself of that either. But there is no magic cure to improve one’s self esteem because I would surely use it if there were. I’m sure as bright as you seem to be you can do really well in school if you just put the past behind you and realize you are just as important as anyone else.
you seem perfectly normal to me. i think you just might be misunderstood. because it’s not that you dont want to meet people, maybe you’re just a little shy. i know when i first meet people or am around people i dont know, i get really shy and nervous. but you cant let being nervous and shy get the best of you. just be as nice as u can and just say hi and smile.. because i learned that sometimes people take your shyness as ignorance. like if you dont say much they think thats just you being ignorant.. but i know thats not the case because i think your alot like me. when you meet people just have a smile on ur face… now im not saying one of those “im a stalker” or “im weird” smile haha… just make people understand that the reason you’re not as open to them as some people are is because your a little nervous and shy.. not because you dont like them.
but deffinetly dont think your weird or anything. i’m home schooled and though people tend to say home schooled people cant socialize.. i know i was shy way before i started home school. now i’m in 11th grade and i’m doing fine.. i dont have a million friends and i’m not the most popular girl. but i do have a few who i think understand the way i am. and i also have a boyfriend who i’ve been with for two years now. find some nice people.. dont try to be friends with people who think they’re “too cool for you”… those kind of people wont get anywhere in the world & they’ll only make u feel worse about yourself for no reason at all. i hope i helped? sry for this being long lol.
dont worry about the way you look. coming from another girl, we’re all self consious no matter what anyone tells you. i always thought i was “the ugly girl” out of my friends and i thought i’d never have a boyfriend or anything because i’m so ugly. but i kind of grew into myself and now people tell me they dont even recognize me and say im really pretty… but i dont think thats because of looks at all, i think its because my adittude about myself changed… i dont walk around sad anymore like i’m ugly. you shouldnt feel bad about yourself.. u actually seem pretty cool.
Answer by glurpyWell, there is nothing wrong with continuing to do your schooling at home, but you may want to consider finding a therapist of some sort to work through your self-esteem issues. It’s not just about being afraid of school–it’s the deeper issue, which is not school, but your own lack of self-confidence that is the problem, and this can affect your future. Making yourself go to school (or conversely, homeschooling) will not fix that problem; exploring all your feelings and being guided to think better of yourself will.
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