How to get my mother to stop trying to control me and my family?

mike r: How do I get my mother to stop trying to control me and my family?
My mother has talked crap about my girlfriend for years, and now we have a baby together. My mother still tries to tell me what to do and NOW how to raise my son. I’ve tried many times to tell her to stop and she keeps on going, my girlfriend and her have gotten into yelling matches before because of it! Even when my girlfriend was pregnant! What else should I do? I don’t want to cut her out of our lives completely but it seems to be going that way.

Answers and Views:

Answer by mrdreadlocks28
You and your girlfriend are grown asses now. Your mum is still your mum, but she has done her job, and now you have a family and its time to do yours. Don’t let someone else raise your child for you. That is your job. It is extremely hurtful to you and you will feel like parents that have failed.

Lay down the law this time, and really mean it. Dont argue with her or get to her level, just say it how it is, “Mom, in a grown man, and iI have a child with my girlfriend, I din’t want you to be running my life, or trying to run my life. You are still my mother, but you have done your job, and now is time for me to be there for my own family. I love you and i will always love you, but i have more than one responsibility now”.

Answer by fuzzykjun
move away from her,, live on your own! tell her she must ask permission to visit, just like anyone elses house!

Answer by ME
you can’t change her, you have to change yourself

This requires you to change your thought (your thinking –needs to be forced by you)

Just look into her eye when she is talking, and yes or ok at the end of the conversation and then forget completely what she said.

Notice only do this when her advice is useless to you.

Answer by Jessikah
Aye that’s hard…
Well don’t blame your mother, she’s just trying to do what she thinks is best for you. I know you don’t want to hear it. That really depends, if you two are married, you can move away from her but still visit her on special occasions. She might realize her mistakes and move on with her life… I don’t know, it’s just one of the few things I’ve got.

Answer by ScarletBloodDoll
Your Mother is a controlling person and if you couldn’t change it before, you can’t change it now.
It sounds like your Mother has no life outside of you and is not sure what to do. Be firm with her and tell her that she needs to stop it and let you live and learn and raise your own child.
Suggest she go find a group of friends to hang out with, a book club, learn how to play bingo but tell her where your boundaries lie.
Change the locks, tell her to call you before she comes buy, etc.