PrettyGirl: How to get over a trauma? Verbal abuse?
A year ago, I was screamed at very brutally and horribly by a roommate in my doctorate program. It was over a very stupid issue. She screamed at me at the top of her lungs with a lot of hatred for about five minutes or so. She was so violent that her head was snapping back and forth while she was screaming at me and calling me all kinds of names. I had another roommate, they slapped high fives and smirked and laughed when they saw I was upset.
From that point on, they started calling me “small breasts” and “flat breasts” and teasing me about my chest size incessantly (i’m not flat by the way, so I don’t know why they would call me that) I guess they just wanted me to move out so they wanted to make my life miserable. I don’t know. They constantly gave me nasty, dirty looks when I walked in the room and said “hey guys, shhhh! she’s coming! hey look flat t*ts, she’s coming!”
When I spilled a little salt and pepper on the stove, they would both start screaming WHY DON’T YOU CLEAN THE STOVE AFTER YOU USE IT?? and stuff like WHY DON’T YOU REMEMBER TO LOCK THE DOOR AFTER YOU INVITE FRIENDS OVER?
I would fight back, scream at them, tell them off, and they would just laugh.
I had been living with these people for 8 months (I had nowhere to move, I was contracted to my dorms through my scholarship and stuck with them, I also was very naive and innocent and didn’t realize I was being abused and bullied, I thought the problem was me)
Now a year later, I realize that I am not over the trauma. I still have nightmares about that roommate screaming at me.
Can you guys help advise me as to what to do? Am I weak or crazy? Too sensitive?
I should add that I am a very beautiful woman, and these girls were fat and ugly, and kept on calling me “skinny pretty b*tch”
Answers and Views:
Answer by aniket patil
i would be happy to assist u further ,, kindly mail details me at [email protected]
Just try to remember that these girls were obviously completely wrong about you; you admit it yourself that they’re wrong about you. You’ve woken up to the idea that they were obviously just bullies, they were just trying to get you out of that place. Try to remember that horrible people like this will be everywhere, but even because of this, you shouldn’t give up. You’re a beautiful young woman and clearly intelligent so why let them put you down?
If you can come to terms with the fact that none of that was your fault and that they were just being bullies by yourself than that’s fantastic, if you need a little bit more help to get over the trauma and to come to complete understanding then there’s no shame in seeing a therapist.
Answer by HanelleLouiseHave you talked to someone?
I know that sounds weird, but you can always stand to get a bit of your chest [sorry for that!]. It is causing you to have nightmares and that is not good!
no you are not crazy or weak or too sensitive. i can’t say what I think you are, I just think you are traumatized!
I can’t say they were “just jealous” because to me that goes beyond jealously.
Do you think its possible that you already had issues with self-image?
Its rare to hear a beautiful woman call herself such. I’m not saying you aren’t. I’m sure you are. I just wonder why you felt the need to qualify what you’d written.
A year later is too long to carry that kind of hurt around. You need to see a counselor and put those girls’ nastiness behind you.
Answer by gerryHi, I dont know if you can ever get over abuse 100%, but I will tell you that the best you can do is read on how to be more assertive, standing up for yourself without having to disregard other’s feelings. I am pretty myself and I was abused daily all my childhood. You dont mention anything about your childhood being involved but for some reason you allowed people to affect you. Try to read positive and uplifting literature. Sounds like you are smart and pretty.
Also was that the first time someone is yelled at you that way? My body cannot take people yelling at me because I can go crazy right there and then, too much of it as a child and as an adult I could not stand people arguing or yelling. You are very sensitive and so am I, what I do nowadays is that I take a moment and tell myself: this is not the end of the world, it is just an arguement and whoever yelled or said whatever did not mean what they said and if its someone who DID mean it then that person is not worth your time. Avoid hurtful people but when you come accross them dont mind them 🙂 who cares about these losers who like to bully people! they are just insecure themselves and need to put you down to feel better 😉Answer by thebtpyoda
well it seems they r just jealous of u and unfortunately girls r very bitchy to each other. all girls even admitt it. girls r much meaner to each other than guys are. well not livng with them is a great start. u have to know that ur a good person and just bc they r mean doesn’t mean they speak the truth. maybe just talkking it out and not holding it all in will help. if u want to talk i’m online on aim or yahoo messenger and my screename is TheBTPYoda. its ok sweety. i think u need to know that ur safe now and away from them and they can’t hurt u anymore. and now u can slowly move on. feel free to IM me.
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