How to encourage a teenager without pushing?

Bee: How to encourage a teenager without pushing?
Every time when I try to setup some work and expectations with my teenager it goes bad to dead end arguments with no results. How do you find the right balance? I don’t want her to waste the summer doing nothing but every time we try to talk about it I am ending being a bad parent who just put his only child down. I expected for her to find some summer job, take a class or volunteer but I feel I am not able actually to make this happen by motivating her without pushing. Any ideas?

Answers and Views:

Answer by verdict
Your first words are ” everytime ‘I’ set up some work and expectations….”

This is about how you communicate. It is about how you feel mixed with your personal wants/needs or failures.

Why do you want her to work or volunteer?
What does she want to do?
Is she tired from a years at school?

You need to listen to your daughter. Don’t attempt to control her life. Perhaps this is more about you!

Negotiate and negotiate and negotiate some more. Reach a compromise. Offer her some motivation such as a small reward plus your appreciation.

Find something your daughter may be interested in doing. Perhaps suggest she has some time off to do her stuff and some other activities as well. Consider her point of view. Are her friends doing anything?

So try not to control or push your stuff onto your daughter.

Listen to what she wants to say.

Negotiate and compromise.

Look into your own motivations and wants.

Build their self esteem.

Tell your kids how much you love them, hug them and be open to them everyday!