How does Buddhism rectify their past or talk about it?

tomlawbcs: How does Buddhism rectify their past or talk about it?
I just had a conversation with my wife and she always brings up a billions things from the past. Our marriage has not been great. But the past couple of months I’ve done an awesome job! Yet all she wants to tell me is: No, I won’t forgive you as you did this and that. And didn’t do this and that.
She’s counseling with a Buddhist nun but not actually studying or practicing Buddhism.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Fake Genius
just let her rock and roll. once she has enough. she’ll do a different thing. that’s women! you have to understand women. lol

Answer by Been There
You’re right … she’s neither studying nor practicing Buddhism.
I hope she listens to this nun … your wife really needs to learn to let go of the past and live in the present, with empathy and compassion. This is what Buddhists strive for.
Good luck to the two of you.

Answer by ramindu
Well she may not know it but she is making the marriage/living unpleasant for you & for her self too.. If she is practicing Buddhism she should be able to move forward by forgiving..She doesn’t know the freedom of mind she gets when she forgives.. What’s Done is done… what you did or what she did is finish ..
I’m sure she will eventually come around to practicing Buddhism/Dhamma .. I’m sure she is not doing what the Nun is telling her to do…!

Meanwhile you should practice some compassion towards her (what ever yr religion is) It wont go waste, believe me…If you are able to forgive her harsh words ..Smile gracefully & let go…. she will come to respect the ‘new you’…(seems unreal but this works)
You will be able to step in to her shoes by listening to this stunning speech & will help to make amends. & don’t forget to forgiving yr self first… !

Wikipedia has a nice write up on the subject of Forgiveness : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness#Buddhism
&
I haven’t listened to this particular one by Ajahn Vayama(Nun) but she IS Good… try it & if its good.. Just let yr wife find the link (don’t force it on her) 🙂

All the best
May all beings be well & happy

Answer by goodfella
“Monks, these two are fools. Which two? The one who doesn’t see his transgression as a transgression, and the one who doesn’t rightfully pardon another who has confessed his transgression. These two are fools.

“These two are wise people. Which two? The one who sees his transgression as a transgression, and the one who rightfully pardons another who has confessed his transgression. These two are wise people.”

– The Buddha, in the Bala Pandita Sutta, AN 2.21

Answer by Nowpower
Good for you doing an awesome job. Keep it up.