Miranda: How do I jump back into the dating scene after the end of long-term relationship?
My ex and I were together for almost four years. We were very in love at first, but as time went on, the spark kind of went out. Towards the very end, it seemed as though my once loving boyfriend disappeared and was replaced by this unbelievable asshole (he ignored me for other girls at parties, ditched me on our weekly lunch date for spur-of-the-moment band practices, and stopped having sex with me because “he realized that he was no longer attracted to my small breasts.” We broke up on good terms, and we agreed to remain friends.
Here’s my problem:
After the break up – and all the shit he put me through – my confidence is shot, which is a first for me. I always thought I was at least moderately attractive and fun to be around. But now I don’t know what to think! It’s screwing up my whole perception of things. I don’t know how to go about getting over this, how to get my self-esteem back. Everyone is telling me that I’m being silly, and that I should go date and I’ll feel better, but the motivation and drive just isn’t there for me anymore. I haven’t left my house in weeks except for going to work and school. What can I do to feel better and get myself out there again? Any advice would really help.
Thanks in advance!
Answers and Views:
Answer by mike
hey i know just what that’s like. same boat.
nothings helped yet…but it does help alittle to talk to people here and there and get used to it. don’t expect to find an awesome person right now, if your not that ready. im sure, as for me, that things will happen in time. thats all it takes i hear….time.
Answer by Arctic FlameIf you just broke up, you might need to take it easy and build back your self-confidence and get yourself back on track. I wouldn’t jump into dating right away because that can be overwhelming if you just got out of a long term relationship.
Hang out with your friends, tell yourself everyday that you’re better off without him and you deserve better, go out by yourself and see what’s out there and get comfortable with yourself. Once you feel that confidence again and you feel like the woman you were before the ex, your positive energy will attract the men and you won’t have to worry about being scared. But fix all the head stuff first, you don’t want to take that into your next relationship or even on a date, it’s not fun for the both of you.
Answer by KSorry to hear that, good thing it’s ended.
A good confidence boost is to get a new haircut/wardrobe – especially something different. You’ll be surprised at what the people that see you everyday will say and maybe you’ll attract someone new!
good luck.
I don’t know if I can help bc I’ve never been quite in your situation, but…
I was in a 2yr and a 1yr relationship back-to-back, and I got beaten down in both relationships in opposite ways. It was best for me to take time. I usually set a goal of 3months to just get my head on straight. You don’t wanna be the rebound or get an immature jerk.
You have to be happy with yourself before you can make someone else happy. It’s best to go out with friends and just have a good time. Expand your social network and quit looking for someone. As cliche as it sounds (and I hated every time somebody told me), the right & best one will come when you least expect it. Have fun and do what most girls seem to do. Go out and be alil careless, just watch what toes you might step on.
Hope it helps! Best of luck…It’s a trip out there!
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