Chelsea: What advice can I get on how to deal with my fiancée being deployed?
My fiancée is in the Army and deployed. I am a college student and having a hard time with him being gone and not having a lot of communication. He is gone for 7 more months. I need advice on coping with the distance and what options are there in being able to talk more? Are there special phones I can buy him? What should I send in care packages?
Answers and Views:
Answer by Ted H
Communication. Write him letters, text message him, do whatever you can so that he can see that he still has you. The worst part about being deployed is… the exact opposite of what you are wondering, his is wondering about what you are doing. Think if the rolls were reversed. He is in college and you are across the world. Oh, and care packages, TOBACCO (if he uses it) you can never send enough, he does have buddies 😉 And other things like Icy hot, those little packets to put in water, and things of yours, like maybe a small piece of cloth or something he knows is yours and will hold a good sent through the mail. There is nothing like opening up a package and being able to smell her… its pricless. Spray your perfume on the entire package, inside and out. Who cares what the mail lady things 🙂
and always send something extra, make sure he knows to give it to someone else, there are guys that get nothing from anyone.. its always nice to put a smile on your buddies face with a candy bar from your Miss.
Answer by aggieband
I spent two years in Baghdad, almost three in Bogota, Colombia and am now in Kabul, Afghanistan. What he will have to deal with more than anything is loneliness and isolation. Call him when you can, try to drop him an e-mail as often as possible, keep him up to date on what is going on in your life… I was fortunate to have access to unfiltered Internet, so I could use Yahoo Messenger and Google Talk to make free long distance calls whenever I wanted, which helped a lot. Staying in touch is very difficult because of the time difference and the amount of activity he will be involved in.
I know how difficult it is, especially around the holidays. Christmas and New Years almost killed me. Regular communication helps a lot and even if you can only find time for short messages, it is so nice to get them. Written letters are wonderful as are CARE packages full of candy, homemade cookies, snacks, toiletries, magazines, etc. It is great to hear your name during mail call, even if it is just a small thing.
The most important thing is to let him know he is always in your thoughts and that you are thinking about him always. Keep the everyday problems to yourself. He doesn’t need to be worried about the car or the pets, or all those kind of things. Let him know how much you love him and that you miss him and are anxiously awaiting his return.
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