Beth: How can I get the father of my daughter to sign off ALL rights including those of child support?
I live in the state of Ohio and can’t seem to find help anywhere. I even went to the Child Support Enforcement Agency to see if I could get papers for him to sign. I can’t afford an attorney, but this needs to be done due to the fact of him not being there for her. She is 19 months old and he has only come to see her 7 times in the past 16 months. The only reason he even comes then is because I push him to try to get to know her. I’ve given him many chances to be a real father to her, but he doesn’t seem to care. I am NOT worried about the child support. All I want is for my daughter to have a real father who will be there for her. And if he isn’t going to, my boyfriend wants to adopt her one day. He loves her as his own and takes care of her as his own. I need the father to sign off now before my daughter gets older. I feel that it would be more emotional for her when she is older. I just need some advice on how to obtain papers for him to sign.
Answers and Views:
Answer by Jill S
You and your boyfriend would have to be married, and then you could do a step parent adoption. However, the biological father would have to sign away his rights, effectively terminating his right to his child. You cannot force him to do this. The Courts are very hesitant to terminate parental rights unless there is some continuing detriment to the child, like physical, emotional or sexual abuse. If your daughter’s father is willing to sign the papers that would be the easiest route. Perhaps knowing he won’t have to pay child support will be an incentive for him. You can get the paperwork for a step parent adoption from your local courthouse. Unless there is something you are not saying, there doesn’t seem to be grounds for the Court to terminate his rights. You will have to get him to agree to sign the papers. Maybe a fat bribe would do it. Good luck with that.
If a father terminates his parental rights and there is not another father willing to adopt the child, the child will be declared a “bastard.” No court in the US is going to allow a child’s father to terminate parental and financial rights without a good reason.
In your situtation, you can’t afford a lawyer. If the father wants to terminate his rights, have him get a lawyer, file the petition and let the court appoint a guardian ad litem to represent the child. If you have someone that wants to adopt the child now, let that man file the papers.
Answer by lil southern girlYou can’t. Even if he agreed to sign something of that nature, it’s basically worthless unless a judge orders it.
You have to file a formal petition to have his rights terminated, have him summoned to a hearing on the matter, and it’s up to the judge. And termination of rights does not mean he will be relieved of his support obligations either.
I know you say you can’t afford an attorney, but this is not really the simple thing some people think it is, so talk to legal aid in your county.
Answer by JeniI had a son in a previous married, I then remarried when my son was one years old. My ex was great in the beginning until he met and married an older lady who did not want to have to deal with a child.
My husband wanted to adopt our son, so I found an attorney who drew up papers for me at a minimuim cost (700.00 total, even filing fees) I did the leg work, and took them to my ex and had him sign them, I had to also have the grandparents sign them as Oregon has grandparents rights.
I was able to show his parents did not make effort to see my son in over an 18 month period so I did not have to seek their signature.
One thing you need to think about is whenever anyone adopts a child, they have to complete a background check in the state (this was included in the fee) the state has to approve the adoption just as if it was a stranger/stranger adoption.
That year after paying the money I was able to claim the whole amount on my taxes which was returned in my refund.
I do not know of any judge that will terminate parental rights of one parents unless your boyfriend (who I would also advise you marry befor you do this) is filing for adoption at the same time. A judge will not leave any child with one parent. It just does not happen. If you know your ex will sign the papers find an attorney tell him you will have non fight adoption, have him give you a set amount. Since this will be easily done he should not charge you hourly especially if you are willing to do some leg work.
I agree with you that it would be easier on the child while she is young, but remember this (long term) once this is done it’s done.
My ex after the fact and after his divorce from second wife, decided he did not want to terminate his rights though it was way to late (5 years) he moved to the state I currently live in and less then a mile away from me…
Good Luck!
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