How do I talk to my brother about suicide?

Buster: How do I talk to my brother about suicide?
I won’t get into all of the details but I believe my older brother (early 30’s) is going to commit suicide. How would I approach this? I don’t want to accuse him of planning anything and I don’t want to lose his confidence. I live in a different state and our family feels hopeless.
What are the signs of someone approaching that decision?

Answers and Views:

Answer by Lizzie Latour
see how they act and what they do. There was someone in my neighborhood who did it and they just kept quiet about it and never talked to anyone for a while then did it.

Answer by Destiny
TELL YOUR PARENTS SO THEY CAN DO SOMETHIN. THEY CAN HELP EVEN IF HES NOT 18 OR YOUNGER. YOU PROBABLY CANT. IVE BEEN SUICIDAL BEFORE N ITS REAL HARD TO BE TALKDS OUT OF. GO TELL YOUR PARENTS RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU WANNA LOSE YOUR BRO. RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer by Meg
First you should know, the people truly serious about committing suicide may not give any signs whatsoever, because they really want to die and if they give signs, people might intervene. It is unlikely that you could change that person’s mind. However, there are many people who ponder suicide and drop hints everywhere because they feel invisible. They want to die because nobody pays attention, and by paying attention you help them not do it. I personally have a friend who I know thinks about suicide a lot. He takes medicine because he just always feels discontent no matter what. He doesn’t care if I ask questions because we have that open relationship that allows me to ask anything I want and vice versa. If your brother wants your help you will know. If not, he won’t appreciate you putting your nose where it doesn’t belong. If he is stressed about money, relationships, etc, a counselor might help. But everyone is different. You would know better than a stranger if he is acting differently, though being in a different state doesn’t help. He might avoid making long term plans, set his affairs in order, that type of thing.

Answer by Nicole Jackson
A lot of times people planning to commit suicide make final plans, such as selling their stuff or saying goodbyes (not in a direct way, obviously).

Answer by Hoadly
Well,,I would drop in on a visit and just hang out..If he asks you why you came,, tell him that you are having some problems and just need to be with familiy for a while and also that you wanted to see him because you “missed” him. You wanted to spend some quality time with him. And just hang out, and watch. You won’t need to ask any questions,,You’ll see it. Also take a real close look at his skin color. and “BE HAPPY”. ‘DO NOT PLANT ANY PROBLEMS ON HIM TO SOLVE”.
GOOD LUCK. Thomas,

Answer by Ataraxia
I lost my brother to suicide 7 years ago. There is no suicide note, there are no hints at suicide. In my experience those that are serious about it….just do it. I believe if he would have asked for help or talked to someone and realized he had support, he would still be here today. Depression can cast a shadow so dark on our lives that it’s hard to see or feel anything good. He lived in a different state, but when i went down there, the house was in state of complete disarray to put it mildly. SOME THINGS to look out for are: is he withdrawing from life, friends, things that he used to enjoy, and isolating himself. Look for signs of escape, is he drinking heavily or taking drugs to numb his unbearable pain. Suicide is a tragedy that can happen to anyone if the circumstances are right, my brother was an anesthesiologist. Please don’t judge him and just be there for him. Let him know you love him and are there for him to lean on for support, and guide him gently to a counselor or psychiatrist. He’s just caught in a storm right now that he feels will never end, help him find his way out with unconditional love.

Answer by azqueeraz2
ask. it’s not going to put the thought into his mind. just tell him u are worried. tell him… or show him this q. i’m going to be honest. i have THE perfect gf and chihuahua… i am okay financially… i am mentally unwell though. i have always wanted to die before i was 30. i turned 30 on saturday just gone. i woke up feeling f’n awful. i pretended the whole day to be okay… that night i tried OD. cause of my severe OCD… i could… in my mind… only take 10 tablets per 10 minutes. so by the time i got to 40 and 40 minutes… i was tooooooo tired and zoned out to have any more. i ended up in hospital. i don’t remember about 7 hours… i woke up in this little purple outfit. drip. sticky patches all over.

my point is… u can never tell. there are not always signs. i was fine on my b’day… or so i appeared. offer to see a counsellor with him… do what ever it takes.